“It might be a quarter-life crisis
Or just the stirring in my soul…”

~John Mayer

When I was the driver’s seat of my twenties looking down the road, I wasn’t always sure of what lay ahead. To be honest, I really didn’t have a clue. I think Steve Jobs said it best: “…you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.”

But as I traveled down that road – fumbling to make sense of the journey and feeling intimidated, unsure, and frustrated – I discovered a key to mentally flip the situation from impending crisis to unlikely opportunity.

So here’s an extension of the Steve Job’s theorem that I’d like to offer you: if you can’t connect the dots looking forward, then don’t overly invest in any particular outcome. Why not set your expectations at “neutral” and practice accepting alternative outcomes in life? Be open. Life is full of possibility. Approach life like the real-time, ultimate treasure hunt it is.

Here’s how the chips fell for me: When I was in my early 20s, I was offered an incredible once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do volunteer outreach and training work in Australia. How could I pass up an opportunity like that?! With no real discernible skills – I had just dropped out of my degree program – but a lot of enthusiasm, I was bound for the Land Down Under. That decision to be open to whatever came along brought complete liberation and sheer adventure. But not without a healthy dose of self-doubt and a sharp deep breath.

I was leaving behind almost two years of pre-med courses where I earned Dean’s List grades and a forward looking commitment to go to medical school. From that perspective, my future was seriously locked in, for say, the next 10 years. And I had mentally written in all the compulsory filler around a medical degree, like a handsome husband and 4 beautiful kids, a house in the suburbs, and European vacations. It was all very neat and defined. And not a lot of fun because it was somebody else’s idea of what I should do with my life.

Needless to say, that volunteer experience in Australia transformed my life in ways I would have never expected. First of all, I had no idea how much I’d love facilitating training events. I learned to wind surf and snorkel and met so many fascinating people from around the world. Oh, and I randomly stumbled upon my true calling in life – helping others transform their lives through personal growth and life-long learning.

Two years later I returned to the U.S. to embark on a fulfilling career in learning & development that has taken me all over the world plus empowered me to discover and follow my own dream to make a difference in the world. All while enjoying my life, but more importantly, being true to myself. Echoing the insightful lyrics of John Mayer, I’m glad I paid attention to the stirring in my soul. Crisis averted.

Truth be told: The world is your oyster. Where do you go from here?

Editor’s note: This post was orginally published in the Young Professionals blog on Life Meets Work.

Related post: Is it scary enough?

I have to admit it; the power of choice hit me hard in my early 20s. But it started out with the littlest of choices. Freshman year of college in Boston, I couldn’t handle living with my roommate. She and her boyfriend reminded me too much of my parents – all serious & boring – living a monochromatic life. So, it wasn’t hard to decide to move two floors up to live with my friends, Julie & Tina.

Amid the flashing Christmas lights, non-stop strains of John Barleycorn Must Die, and the makeshift “refrigerator” of a shopping basket hung out the window, we three were caught in the dilemma of whether to add food coloring to the fish tank. To me, I was now living a vibrant, Technicolor life in an 8 x 8 dorm room. It wasn’t hard to make that choice, yet it was so liberating. I felt instant freedom.

However little, that decision showed me that conscious choice opens up possibility. As I looked around, it wasn’t only my former roommate that lacked vitality – it was my whole environment. I felt confined by my New England upbringing and well-schooled, hard-working, high-achieving, status-conscious relatives – probably due to my mixed Jewish/Irish-American roots. I was willing to venture further afield. I would transfer to a school out West. Again, not so hard to do.

I ended up in Boulder at CU and loved the Rocky Mountain way. I learned how to play hacky-sack and watched would-be rock jocks scale apartment building walls. But in some ways, it was more of the same. I was really looking for something that had deep meaning to me and I wasn’t finding it. But what was that next move? It had to be bigger, bolder. I hadn’t challenged myself to the point of scary.

Yet scary is where I landed when I decided to ditch my college education in favor of engaging in volunteer training & outreach work for a global non-profit organization half-way around the world. Um, now I was facing a steep cliff of fear. What would the consequence of this decision be? How were my parents going to react when I tell them? Let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty. But I did it. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I stuck to my convictions. I was ready to bungee-jump into L-I-F-E.

Incidentally, I made this radical choice during the 1982 recession. I was 19 when I touched down in Australia and two years later when I returned to the U.S. at 21, I was a different person. I still faced all the growing pains and challenges of early adulthood – I just did it in the midst of this incredible adventure. And with this post script: economies be damned.

Oh yeah, and I randomly stumbled upon my life calling – helping individuals become aware through conscious choice that their lives can be fulfilling, dynamic, extraordinary – that they can thrive their lives no matter what the circumstances. I had no idea one little choice would lead to the unconventional path of my 20s or my professional dream come true.

So what is it about choice? Every day you are making choices and those choices become your life. That’s exactly how it works for all of us.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

I challenge you to make a choice that’s outright scary.* If anything’s possible, what’s next for you? What’s your bold move? Think of that leap you’ve been wanting to make. Imagine jumping off the fear bandwagon: what are you doing and how does it feel? How does your life rock after that?

*Gentle word of caution: I am not advocating putting life & limb in harm’s way. Be wise, be prudent. Take a healthy non-dangerous risk and see what happens.

Photo credit: Eric Baillargeon

Editor’s note: This post was originally published on October 27, 2008 on Brazen Careerist. With many recent college graduates hitting the job market, it seemed apropos to re-post it here & now, albeit slightly adapted. jf